Healing, discovery, and becoming a better version of ourselves
When we hear the word Shadow work for the first time it is often associate with dark practices, nothing could be further from the truth.
Shadow work is the key to unlocking our greatest potential. Although this concept has grown in popularity over the last few years, shadow work is definitely not for the faint of heart.
Possibly one of the greatest and most powerful forms of self-improvement, despite that, not many people are familiar with the work and therefor avoid this work or lean towards other known forms of improvement or therapy.
The differences between other forms and shadow work is the radical self-reflection, the requirement of vulnerability and the will to dive in deeper are required to practice shadow work. Besides honesty and some level of awareness you also have to be courageous as is demanded with shadow work.
When we however search for a more enriched and fulfilling life, this might be the path to consider, to maybe try out once, no matter how dark and daunting it may sound. Because only through exploring the shadows of ourselves can we uncover the light that lies dormant inside of us.
What are shadows and where do they come from?
Shadows arise much in the same manner actual shadows occur – in the absence of light. The missing light is the absence of our truest selves.
For most people, shadows develop during childhood and are compounded as we grow due to societal norms, expectations, or out of self-protection. Whether it’s survival, inculturation, or desperately attempting to fit in and get along, in these moments we repress, lie and deny ourselves and the rest of the world.
According to Carl Jung, shadows refer to all the parts of ourselves that we keep hidden and repressed, the parts of ourselves that we deny, and the parts we can’t accept or tolerate. Normally the traits have a negative connotation, but do not confuse our shadow selves with something inherently evil.
Lust, anger, and self-destruction rest in our shadows but so do fear, the need for acceptance, desires, insecurities, and whatever else that causes us to dislike ourselves, self-hate or forces us to shrink ourselves.
As Jung said, “There is no light without shadow and no psychic wholeness without imperfection.”
Although exploring and being confronted by our shadows may be painful and difficult, it is important to know and remember that this doesn’t represent a defect. The shadow self is an inextricable part of the human experience, understanding this and keeping it in mind reduces shame and allows us to gain the most from the work we do when practicing shadow work.
How to do shadow work?
Shadow work is confronting all the uncomfortable parts of ourselves to gain understanding, remove the barriers that cast the shadows and heal the parts made visible by the work, ultimately to become the best version of ourselves.
There are many books written on the topics, but below is a fantastic yet straightforward strategy for shadow work.
- Evaluate yourself and your life thus far, what are the things you encounter now? What are your triggers? Practicing self-awareness and radical honesty. Think about the parts of yourself you dislike and your shortcomings. These are guidelines to practicing shadow work.
- Identify and (just for this practice) label all those parts. Write these down. Where did you learn this? Do you recognize these parts from somewhere? Have you seen this before?
- Accept it. No matter how difficult this may seem sometimes try not to languish in the past or uncomfortable reality. Accept the aspects you can’t control and accept your role. Although accountability and responsibility may feel difficult sometimes, it is necessary for self-discovery and the only way to growth.
“That which we do not bring to consciousness appears in our lives as fate.”
Not confronting our shadows doesn’t hide them; they will only be suppressed, manifest in the form of self-sabotaging behaviors OR they will appear in others. One of the first things you learn to understand when doing shadow work is realizing that much of what we dislike in others are things that we dislike in ourselves. The good news is that the same goes for that what you appreciate or admire in others, these are also parts of yourself that you have not recognized or accepted as part of yourself yet.
One way or the other with shadows, though hidden from us, they will either reflect through others or we will project them onto others.
How does shadow work manifest in our daily lives?
Shadow work allows us to remove all the barriers, one by one, that prevent us from being our best self. Layer by layer you heal and reconnect more to yourself with love and compassion.
A few character strengths developing when practicing Shadow work are:
- Self-awareness. Understanding your idiosyncrasies and processing the ability to recognize and correct shortcomings, allowing you to constantly grow and improve.
- More empathy for others and better relationships. Combating the shadows prevents you from projecting onto others and helps develop more patience and understanding for others who struggle and fall short.
- The courage to be yourself and the power to share your personality, talents, and ideas with the world.
Shadow work is the key to an illuminated life and when you find yourself in the shadows, you’ll finally be able to give the greatest gift to yourself and the world, that is your authentic, honest and boldest self.
